Hi Mom! I'm on TV!!!

Wut a great start to a day today! Woke up at 6am, got ready n was at TV3 Sri Pentas round 7am. They want us to perform our dance on the morning show! It was LIVE!!! Wut an xperience!

Out of 14 dancers, only 4 of us showed up. Which suits just fine coz the stage was so tiny! Even wit the 4 of us, we were bumping against one anotha.

When we got on set, I cudn't believe how tiny it was. They make it look so big n spacious on TV! Man... i mean tiny! They had anotha 2 sets there... n each set was only like 15ft x 7ft. We were all so xcited dat we're gonna be on telly. They started wit d Capoeira 1st, then it's us hip hop dancers. Unfortunately, d Body Combat guys cudn't get on telly coz d Capoeira guy took too much air time. Aww... poor guys....

Damn.... it felt real weird dancing live on TV. We've always been performing to a crowd, but this time... there was none. It was so quite! Whenever we had a clap or a "hey!" in d routine... it sounded really loud coz there wasn't a crowd to drown our noise. At times I felt a lil retarded, coz I had to change my position n d direction of my dance d very last minute. There were instances where we made lil boo-boos... but it's all good! We get to be on telly!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Wut's a Gal 2 Do...?

He went back to his hometown 2 weeks ago. And he went back again last weekend (all thanx to myself for blurting out it's Easter.) And then I sulked... coz despite him being carless (his car's in d workshop), he wud go as far as to ride d damn public bus back! Such dedication to his family... Guess he had forgotten dat he'd promised to take me to dat nice posh club... sighhh.....

Becoz I sulked, he got pissed off... n I haven't heard from him since friday morning. Oh hell... be pissed then... c if i care! My world does not revolve round him no more! It used to be... but now I know betta....

He goes back to his hometown, which is a good 2 n 1/2 hrs drive away, often. He used to go back every otha weekend. But now after I threw a tantrum a few yrs back, he tries to go back only once in 3 weeks... unless sumthing comes up like Christmas, Easter, Deepavali, anniversary of his grand dad's death, auntie needs to go sumwhere, grandma needs to go hospital, doggie got bitten by snake, yada yada yada....

It's bad nuff we hardly get to c each otha during d weekdays, thanx to both our busy schedules, almost half of d weekends he's not ere coz he goes back to his hometown. And for d weekends dat he is ere, we don't do much... coz he wants to go home n sleep.. all tired from d hectic working week he had. When we do go out, it's only for b'fast/lunch/dinner....

I dunno... maybe I'm just one very angry kid. Maybe I'm still angry dat he used to say that he'll do anything for me, back when we started dating 4 months into our relationship... but he doesn't say dat now. Maybe I'm still angry dat he missed my college commencement, my university graduation, my dance choreography class final dance presentation. Maybe I'm still angry at him for delaying his trip to d states to come n c me, coz of his aunt, despite that I still paid for his trip. Maybe I'm still angry at him for breaking up wit me for 4 months n he doesn't consider it a break up but just a break, leaving me wit his last words of "I just wanna b left alone"... n then poof! Gone for 4 months!

Yes yes I know... I'm like an elephant... I never forget. Wut? Let it go? No!!! I can't let it go! U dun just let go sumthing "traumatic" like this. Wut? I'm making sucha big deal bout all these? Well, apparently it's not a big deal to u. But it is to me. No one else is gonna give a damn bout this. Not even u. So please xcuse me if I do make a big deal bout this... coz it's my life... n I do give a damn!

So... does this justify my sulking...?

Still Hungry?

ok... so these r wut I've been eating so far today....

1. b'fast: 2 toast 'em breads wit strawberry & apple jelly
2. mid-morning snack : Anlene choc milk
3. lunch: brown rice with Safcol salmon with dill & lemon in spring water

but... but... I'm still hungry!!! I kid u not... my tummy's growling rite now! Need more food... muahahahaa!!!!

btw, I cooked my 1st brown rice yesterday... on d stove! HHmm... needs a lil adjustment... d rice wasn't fully cooked... but it's aite.... mmm... me likey brown rice now!

Stupid Boy!

He had it coming. He must've instigated the dogs. Dogs won't just go biting people for no reason... they know better... unlike some humans.

People are showering the boy and his family with pity just coz he's a Muslim boy on his way to Friday prayers. They think, "Oh! Poor boy! On the way to do his godly duties n he got attacked. Damn those satan dogs!"

Do I feel sorry for the boy or his family? NO! Do I wish him a speedy recovery? No! Hope he dies... put him outta his misery.

I'm just more concerned bout the dogs. I hope & pray that they don't get put to sleep or worse, shoot to death. When accidents like this happens, everyone quickly blames the animal! Don't they ever stop and wonder that it could be the boy's fault? I'd gladly bet u a hundred dollars dat d boy or his cousins provoked d dogs! Just like reported, when the mother tried to help her son, the dog didn't attacked her. It only faced her and wanted to attack when she threw stones at it. See my point?

War doesn't sadden me. Child hunger doesn't move me. Human suffering doesn't affect me. Poverty doesn't get my pity. Coz we as human beings are gifted by god a highly complex brain... humans are capable of taking care of themselves no matter what the situation may be. U R CAPABLE!

But not animals.... no. The domesticated ones depend on us to feed, shelter, love n take care of them. The wild ones, while very capable of taking care of themselves, fall at the mercy of us humans when threatened, hurt, hunted, kill, tortured by us so-called intelligent beings!

Animal cruelty makes me weep. Animal injustice angers me. Animal mistreatment saddens me. Stupid humans... they can all rot in hell for all I care!

I just hope the dogs are ok & won't be euthanized.... if they are, then they gonna have to deal with one very pissed off Devilette!

Malaysians & Mat Sallehs...

Most Malaysians in the service line love Mat Sallehs or Gwai Los or Ang Mos or Orang Puteh or your conventional White Men/Women. They'll bend backwards for them. They give them extra special treatment while they scoff at the rest of us paying Malaysian customers. My recent outings with my dance instructors just proved my claims...

The otha day the whole team went to Nando's in 1 Utama for dinner. The manager, upon seeing the 2 instructors, greeted em n started talking to em. Apparently they're regulars there. He started to put on a fake accent, "Oh! I'm goin bungee jumping in New Zealand next month. Maybe I'll bump into you 2 there..hahaha." The manager was really friendly towards the 2 instructors... but not to the rest of us.... then he gave us a jug of soda on the house...

And last week, the whole team went out for drinks. We were at Modesto's Hartamas. Just as we got our butts sinking comfy in to the sofas, a guy came up to us telling us we can't stay long coz the place has been booked by Chelsea fan club members. So after a few minutes of discussing, we decided to bust d joint n hit Sunway instead. Upon leaving, d female instructor told d guy dat d place dun have music so we're leaving. D guy almost cried!!! N he practically begged us (well, maybe just her) to stay n said dat she was so beautiful. Such a desperado... he kinda freaked her out....

So we went to Sunway. After ordering a couple of jugs of Long Island ice teas, d lady instructor talked to d waiter n asked him for a discount on the drinks. Wut do u know... granted!!! On top of dat he gave us anotha jug on d house!!! Looks like she knows how greatly the whites r treated in Malaysia n she's using this to her full advantage. Hell... I can't complain... we got drinks on d house! Woo hoo!!!

4!

4... that's how many times I went drinking last week! That's the most times I've ever gone drinking in a week of my entire life so far. All dat alcohol... all dat nicotine... all that social whoring... I feel real good... I am happy.... oh fuck... i'm broke!!!

Waaah! Your England Damn Powderful!

can't work... so time for sum bitching..... mwuahahahahaa....

New gal came to work a couple of days ago. Looked familiar. Realized that she attended training with my new project group a couple of months back. She was from our partner company... our understanding was that she's suppose to be one of the developers from that company who'll be helping us develop the project. That was who the training was intended for... for the developers who wud be working on that project only... but....

Lil missy ere is not in the project. Hell! She's not even a developer. Just a trainee... wut the hell was she doin there? If she's not the one working on the project, then who is? Who'll b helping us? Answer given by our partner company, "we dunno yet". Gee... great!!! Fuck it!!! Let the project be damned to hell!!! C if I care!!!!

So now lil missy is working for us, not as a developer but as a tester. And coz she recognized me from b4, she's been trying to stick to me like a plague! Aaarrggghhh!!!! Y can't u get it in dat empty head of urs?! I DUN LIKE U SO LEAVE ME D FUCK ALONE!!!

So she just popped at my cubicle yesterday (again?!) while I was attempting to fix a bug. And started talking.... in Malay she sounds real kampong (village like). But then she tried to show off her English skills... "I hate when the people talks..." & "I were doing this last time..." DDAAAAMMMNNN!!!! N her english accent! Where the fuck did dat came from? There wasn't even a hint of it when she spoke malay before... n now? FUCK!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!! I can tell that her accent was forced... n it was forced hard! It's one thing to put on a forced fake accent... but getting all ur grammar n tenses all screwed up like a trainwreck is anotha thing!!! *cringe* *cringe* *cringe* *grit teeth* *1 eye squint* *veins popping*

Still A Hostage....

busy busy busy....

damn! when will it all end???

Workin' in a Coal Mine...

Goin' down, down, down.....

It's 10:40pm, Thursday Mar. 10, 2005.... n I'm at d office....

Wut d hell am I still doin ere????

Work sux!....

Development Hostage!

Help! Aaaaa!!!! I've been held software development hostage!!!

Damn this lame-ass fucking project!!! Y can't u just die?!!?!!??!

U GO TO HELL, PROJECT!!! U GO TO HELL & U DIE!!!!

There's so much work.... piling... never ending....

I hate my job.... sigghhhh....

I Don't Belong Here...

I... hate... my... work! But wut's worse, I hate d environment n d ppl working ere. Basically there r 3 major types of groups in my office. 1 is the managers/bosses group... dun even talk bout me fitting in ere. 2 is the all chinese who only talk ching-chong language in their group... dunno d language, in fact hate it, so can't fit in there. Then 3 is the all religious tudung wearing malay group... i'll elaborate on this one...

This 3rd group comprises of 2 subgroups... the men & the women. I'll talk bout d women... these women r religious muslims, almost all of em wear tudung (head coverings). Even tho most of em r my peers, they've all got husbands n children... to them if u're 25 n r not married, they keep harping on u asking when is d big date. N if u tell em it's not anywhere in d near future, they think dat there's sumthing wrong wit u....

Anyway, d main n only spoken language in this group is... yeah, u guessed it, malay... Can't fit in. These r d kinda ppl dat's so religious... one time we passed a Starbucks dat had taken over a chinese restaurant n this colleague of mine just said "Eeeeiii! Gelinye Starbucks nie! Mesti kotor, mesti ada babi. Eeeiiii... tulah, dulu tempat ni kedai makan cina jual babi" (translated: "Eeeiii!!! This Starbucks is gross! Must be so filthy, they must've had pork here. Eeeiii....coz last time this was a chinese restaurant selling pork.") ... (damn... d person i'm writing bout is just sitting beside me... mwuahahahaaa!!!!)....

Although my "closest" colleagues comprise of this group... I have been excluded from their group coz I'm just not like them (not dat I'm complaining... I'm betta off not joining em). So they'll go out for lunches 2getha... go shopping 2getha... n more often than not will bring back goodies. Tho they're kind nuff to offer me sum, I'd just wish they'd ask me out of courtesy if I'd like for them to get me sumthing while they're out...

My gym buddy is an x-colleague of mine. In d short time dat I got to know him during his tenure here, it was with him & bout 3-4 otha guys dat I felt a sense of belonging. These guys r my kinda ppl... cool, funny, relaxed attitude, n just a blast hanging out with... we'd go to lunches 2getha, go for smokes, go mamak....

But since he left, it just wasn't d same no mo. And then a few months later, anotha one left.... so dat was it... kaputz. So how have I been spending my lunch time? In my cubicle, in d office... all alone. It's cool tho, I get to take 1/2 hour naps, good for recuperating from gym. Then I'd wake up n make myself lunch... which normally comprise of either tuna sandwiches or instant noodles. It's getting a lil boring... n it does feel lonely sumtimes... but it sure does beat mixing with d wrong kinda group...

Tendinitis & Goat's Milk...

I've been whining bout my knees hurting like a mufucka these past few weeks. I suspect I've developed knee tendinitis. It hurts whenever I bend my knees... especially when goin up n down stairs n when i squat. Which brings me to an experience I had yesterday...

I needed to go boo2. My fave seated toilet has this huge window in d cubicle. When I looked out, there were these construction guys on dat lil window washing platform thing, n they were climbing fast. So damn it! I can't use my fave seated toilet n had to resort to d squatting one...

Oh Lord!!! My knees!!! Arrgghhh!!! OOOUUUUWWWW!!!!!!! Damn these knees!!!

Anyway, my dad's given me this special goat's milk ointment to rub over my knees. He said it'll help wit d pain. I tried it last nite. Initially it felt real cooling... then afterwards it gets a lil warmer. When I got up this morning, my knees felt betta. Thanx Baba...

I know I'm suppose to get dem knees checked, but I'm afraid of d outcome. Wut if I have to stop dancing? Wut if I have to take a few weeks rest away from d gym?? WUT??!?!?!! NO DANCE?!?!?! NO GYM?!?!?! NNNOOOOOO!!!!!! Huh? I have to? It's for my own good? Ohh... ok then baby. Me listen to u... huh? U're gonna go take me to c d doc, baby? After my show? Ohh... ok baby. Me listen to u... ;)

Gym Gear... Wut d Hell r u Wearing??!?!?!??!

There's this one gay dude at d gym where I go to. R u sure he's gay, u ask? Well... ere's d story... This dude works out at d weights area, mainly coz dat's where he's hoping to hook up wit big bulky muscular guys. This dude's fave gym gear is tight waist-length tank top n very very short n tight spandex shorts! So short... it comes rite up to his crotch line. So short... his butt cheeks r showing! And he has this spandex shorts in 3 colors.. black, grey n oh-my-poor-eyes WHITE!!!

So u can imagine wit this type of gear, everythin sticks out... n i mean everything! One day when me n my gym buddy were at d weights area waiting to use a machine, we saw this dude there in his white spandex shorts. N he decides to bend down just rite in front of my gym buddy! GOOD LORD!!! N he was wearing a thong!!! OH NOO!!!!! VISIBLE THONG LINE!!!!! My poor gym buddy...

Then there's this heffa whose fave gym gear is a leotard! Just plain ol swimsuit-like leotard! No tights underneath... just d leotard! Ass cheeks all xposed n shit! But she does wear a tied halter top over it... missy, wut r u trying to cover? U ain't got no tits, so dun bother. It's ur ass dat needs covering. N u can c this poor heffa failingly trying to pull her halter top down to cover her ass. But I guess d guys r just having a nice lil party in their pants watchin her... which cud b her intention anyway....

And then there r guys who wear too loose of a shorts... n their balls just b hanging! Jesus! Shove em up where we can't c em please! And there're these women who love wearing bra-tops. But they forget dat they've had 3,4,5 kids... flabby stretch-markety tummies all hanging n shit. Yeeesssh!!!

To all these ppl I'd like to say.... WUT D HELL IS WRONG WIT U??? NEXT TIME, GET UR ASS IN CHECK BEFORE U DECIDE TO WEAR A CERTAIN GYM GEAR IN D GYM. SOME OF US WUD STILL LIKE TO KEEP OUR LUNCH/DINNER IN OUR STOMACHS!