Suddenly Everyone's an Expert...

Scene 1: An encounter with an older lady at d gym a few weeks ago...
She: Hey u lost weight. I always see u at d weights area, how come u're always there? U push weights?
Me: Uhh.. yeah.
She: Oh... doing weights really help u lose weight ya?
Me: Yea... I guess so.
She: Eh... but I think u shudn't do weights la. U shud do more cardio n burn all d fat away 1st. If u build ur muscles now, u'll b bigger coz ur fat will b trapped under the muscles n u can't lose them.
Me: Really?

Scene 2: At d office, a male colleague came by my cubicle...
He: Hey, I heard that u're goin to d gym now... good for u.
Me: Yea... thanx man.
He: So wut kind of exercises do u do there?
Me: A lil bit of everything. Classes, cardio, weights...
He: (Interupting) U shud do this... carry 1 dumbell in each hand, I carry 10kg. Bend ur knees like this n ur arms like this n then u do it like this (shows me how to do an excercise).
Me: Hhmmm....
He: Then u do ur abs...
Me: Oh kaayy....
He: Then u shud do ur arms excercise like this (shows me more...)...
Me: Ok...
He: But b4 all dat u shud do cardio on d bicycle... dun do anything else... not good for u... After cardio then u do those weights exercises I showed u.
Me: I have my own routine...
He: No... u shud do this... it's good for u.

Scene 3: At a cafe with a female gym friend who aspires to be a personal trainer...
She: Eh, I always see u at d weights area? How come?
Me: Uhh... I push weights la.
She: Ohhh... eh, have u ever considered slimming?
Me: Huh? Wut? Sliming centers? Hell NO!
She: No, no, not slimming centers. Slimming ur body down a bit.
Me: No.
She: I think u shud slim down la, u'll b more pretty n beautiful. Not that I'm saying u're not already pretty.
Me: (Pausing, look at her with 1 eye slightly squinted) No, my main goal now is not to slim down. I wanna build on my strength, I wanna be stronger physically.
She: (Expressionless)

Scene 4: At d office wit d same male colleague...
He: Eh, I can c u lost sum weight. That gym's really working out for u huh?
Me: Yea... thanx man.
He: But ur cheeks r still chubby. U shud do more cardio.
Me: Yea I'm trying...
He: (Cut me off) U shud do running... all d otha cycling or treadmill won't work la.
Me: Oh for real???

Sighhh... these people dunno that I already have my own routine, specially formulated by my honey who knows a great deal more bout fitness than those 3 put 2getha. Hell! Even I know more than those people. It's aite... they can talk all they want. Yak yak yakity yak.... them fools r just talk. Oh well....